By most people’s standards
this could be considered a bad Christmas.
Whether it is sickness, lack of a complete family or what some would
consider bad gifts. But I choose not to
see it that way. I woke up sick; either the flu or something I ate yesterday
and my wife Melissa had to be up and at her job thirty miles away by 6:30 A.M.
and would not be home till 3:30. Our Christmas tradition of opening gifts once
mommy and daddy got up from slumber was going to be different for the first
time this year. But making time and a half for holiday pay seemed like the best
thing to do considering our current situation. Her in college full time and
only able to work every other weekend, me trying to run two businesses and
support a family of 7 all while staying at home with the younger kids during
the weekdays. Both of us seem to be biting off more than most could chew.
My two
Christmas gifts, one from wife and one from child consisted of the latest Seth
McFarland work on DVD and a gag gift. The Ted DVD and roll of toilet paper
would be considered let down gifts up epic proportions but both turned out for
me to be blessings in their own right. The movie provided my wife and me a
chance to sit, together, just her and I for two hours. It was a moment in time
rarely shared by us due to our ever conflicting schedules and busy lives.
Earlier
today a good friend had sent me a text asking what my favorite Christmas gift
was. You can imagine their surprise when I told them it was a roll of toilet
paper. I’m sure there is a level of surprise for you too, or at least
curiosity. But this was no ordinary roll of toilet paper. This tightly wound
roll of tree was written on bearing a Christmas greeting and given to me by my
twelve year old daughter. I’ll admit when I was first tossed the gift to open
it, I knew as soon as it landed in my hands I knew what it was, a talent
learned from my father, and I was feeling somewhat disappointed by it. But
after opening it and seeing the words “Merry Christmas, I Love You Daddy” I
couldn’t help but smile. It was a proud moment for me knowing I am influencing
AnnaLisa’s sense of humor and appreciation for the little things in life that can
bring joy and laughter. I am passing down the same kinds of values my father
and mother gave me. And it is humbling.
It’s
12:08 AM so technically it’s the day after Christmas. Everyone is asleep.
Everyone that is except Noah and I who are both wide awake. He has never been
permitted to stay up this late but with all the excitement of Christmas
something felt ok about it tonight. Noah is 2, the youngest of our 5 children.
4 were planned. Noah really ended up being the unexpected gift in a time of
turmoil for our marriage that saved our family. Additional children traditionally
have a devastating effect on marriages already struggling. It seems as if God
had different plans than us. But then again doesn’t he always?
My wife Melissa fell asleep on the
couch hours ago and Noah just walked over to the couch, pulled back the quilt
she was cozied up under, climbed up, slid underneath the quilt and pulled it
back over him and his mommy. My heart instantly melted at the innocence and
sheer adorableness of that. I was overwhelmed. It brought tears to my eyes.
Crying doesn’t come easy for me. Never has. And maybe my heart strings had
already been tugged by the viewing of one of the kids Christmas gifts, The Odd
Life of Timothy Green, but something about a simple event like my son snuggling
with mommy took me to a place of pure joy, to the point of crying. I’ve never
associated crying with joy until now. And maybe that is why I instinctively
refrain from crying whenever emotionally possible.
Watching The Odd Life was a
riveting reminder to me of a simple and seemingly obvious concept about love
and children. No one will ever love me with the same commitment and innocence
that my children do. EVER! Their love is so unconditional and true.
Looking
back on this day, a day meant to be celebrated as a day of giving in
remembrance of God’s gift to us, His Son sent as a human to die for us and our
sins, I can’t help but think most would fall asleep in their bed feeling let
down or disappointed. After all we spent the better part of our day without our
wife and mother and her without her family. I spent much of the day feeling
sick. But life and how we experience it truly is about choices. Happiness is a
choice. Our memories are a choice. But something feels different about this
day. And I choose to see this day, Christmas Day 2012, as the best Christmas
I’ve ever had! Two seemingly let down gifts turned out to be blessings and the
day culminated, nearly at the stroke of midnight with my son, a family saving
gift himself, climbing by his own will into the couch with his beloved mommy to
cuddle for a short while. He didn’t stay there long. He got back down to play
with his tractor. He was probably too wound up from the excitement of opening
gifts and the sugar rushing through his veins from the candy in his stocking.
This is where I seized an opportunity. I picked him up, walked over to the
rocking chair and lulled him to sleep with the back and forth motion. He was
ready. And so was I. I was ready for that moment, the moment when it all comes
together, and the events of a day not really different than any other day. It’s
when we have to choose to see the positives and the blessings. Or we choose to
be a cynic and make ourselves the victim. As
I sit here in this disaster of house by any clean and organized person’s
standards, looking at my wife and 5 kids, now all asleep, I take comfort knowing
that our lives, as busy as they are, are happy lives. And our house, cluttered
as it may be, isn’t just a house. It is a home. And I choose to see it that
way.
